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I Missed It...

Having some decaf before I head off to bed...

You know...
I said last week I had a funeral to go to this weekend.

Umm yeah. About that. Well, I didn’t go.

I had two opportunities to pay my respects over the last few days, and I just couldn’t make myself go to either one. Not sure why really.

Maybe it had been too long since I had seen either of them. Been quite a few years. I’d seen some recent pictures of them as a couple. He seems timeless. Relatively unchanged. Grayer. And a bit heavier, as we can get as we age.

But she (the deceased) didn’t look like any one I remembered. Had it been that long? We were first introduced over 25 years ago. Once I transferred out of that location, that was very nearly the last I saw of them. That was after 10 years or so.

I guess I didn’t want to intrude. And I felt like I would have been. I’ll try to get in touch with him at some time in the near(ish) future. We still have a few friends in common.

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Comments

( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
anita_margarita
May. 29th, 2013 05:41 am (UTC)
Funerals, of course, are for the living. But the living change. We remember people as they were when we knew them, and that will never change. Timeless, as you say.

A kid I went to high school with drowned when he was 14. He will be forever 14, and I think about that sometimes. He never knew about global warming, or AIDS, or 9/11. He just knew what any of us knew at 14.

After 10 years of no contact - it might be best to just enjoy the memories and send a note of condolence.
texasts
May. 29th, 2013 12:22 pm (UTC)
Good advise.
kabuldur
May. 29th, 2013 09:21 am (UTC)
I know what you mean. I would have that feeling of intruding, too. I think Anita_margarita's advice is sound.
texasts
May. 29th, 2013 12:23 pm (UTC)
Me too.
symian
May. 29th, 2013 09:22 am (UTC)
I am not a big fan of funerals. It's OK if it is local, but I don't fly across the country to pay my respects. The thing is, I want to remember the person the way they were. Seeing a dead body won't do that for me.

I know I've ticked off some relatives over the years who didn't appreciate my not showing up. But then again, that's life.
texasts
May. 29th, 2013 12:24 pm (UTC)
Uh yeah. Don't like them myself.
ellierachael
Jun. 7th, 2013 02:47 am (UTC)
I wouldn't worry about intruding. At a time like this he'll probably be glad of all the support and friendly distraction he can get
texasts
Jun. 7th, 2013 03:03 am (UTC)
I know. I believe this is my issue. Not theirs.

And thanks for going back through all these entries and taking the time to comment. I appreciate the effort it takes.
ellierachael
Jun. 7th, 2013 03:38 am (UTC)
No problem...you get out of LJ what you put in imo :)
texasts
Jun. 7th, 2013 03:40 am (UTC)
Tru dat. But I still think you are a sweetheart for taking the trouble...
ellierachael
Jun. 7th, 2013 03:41 am (UTC)
hehe thanks
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )

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