TexasT's (texasts) wrote,

  • Mood:

A Stinker of a Family Heritage

The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt."
 Now you can intellectually handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.
Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc.
 They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children:
 Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the
twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parent's objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a High School drop out.

However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.
 She was then known as, Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt.

Two other of the six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and, subsequently
 married the Happens Brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced he Schitt-Happens wedding.
  The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

So now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them and say "oh yes I do!"

(Family History Recorded By Crock O.Schitt)

(and now you know the rest of the story)

Tags: humor
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