August 4th, 2006


Helpdesk Follies in Cube City


 A program I use pretty extensively at work at the Big Clam, (hell, everyone in my immediate vicinity uses it) to track (and work) Security issues thru my group, was screwing me over yesterday morning. 

As I do every morning, I was asking for a list of "OPEN" Tickets for our assignment group. At any given time, we will have 80  to 100 tickets we are attempting to solve. We try to keep it around 80 or so. But right now we've qot a couple of big projects and an audit going on. So we have more than usual. Not generally an issue...I'm not one to complain, usually. But the last thing I need is for Service Center (By the way, P@r@grin@ Syst@ms - That last upgrade we got, was no upgrade, guys.) to go all squirrely on me.

Any way - My dataset would start to display. It would scroll to about 5 records and my PC would freeze. And I'm not talking a little frozen either, l'm talking about, "Screw You!! You gonna have turn me OFF, bitch!'' frozen.
Naturally I have a lot of stuff in my start up file. Email, couple of spreadsheets, Web docs, and a few handy utilities. I was able to narrow it down to SC by trial. After  the 4th time, I (hate to admit) had  to call the helpdesk. I'd gone as far as I'm allowed. 

Stupid locked down machines. I know why they do that crap, but it doesn't mean I have to like it... 

I got this guy at the helpdesk I've known for years, talked to (let's call him) 'Alexander' probably 20 times over the years. He was stumped. Not one of my colleagues was having the same issue. So he bumped my ticket to 2nd level. We rung off.

After a couple of hours and a few missed phone calls, I called the guy direct in Bangalore. From Houston. Over a period of three or four hours, the guy froze my PC like 20 times. Doing the same fucking thing over and over...I could tell he was clueless. He said he needed to confer with his colleagues and would call me back in a few minutes. An hour went by - Nothing.

In the mean time, I conferred with two of MY colleagues. We were able to ascertain, that my Service Center profile had been somehow become corrupted. I called my new W*PR* colleague in Bangalore and told him our discovery. He thanked me and said he would call me back in a few minutes after ''conferring" with his colleagues. In about five minutes he called back. He said he had confirmed with his colleagues and they had ascertained my Service Center profile had somehow become corrupted, and would need to be rebuilt.
Does the word, "DUH!!" mean anything to you! 

Would I mind if he moved my ticket to the Service Center Admin Queue?
Which has also been outsourced (in my corporate culture read: offshored) to W@P~O!! Of course. All day to not solve an issue and then to move it to a queue also run by the same contracting company? Not exactly sure I can buy that...And after a full day of fucking around with this, (even though I KNOW WHAT MY ISSUE IS) it still ain't fixed. Mo' money for the Contractor, and a completely wasted day for me. And my bill rate to my (internal customers) is completely ridiculous! Who is paying? Ultimately the Big Clam is...

It is now the next morning and I have an email from the SC Admin group saying they can find nothing wrong with my profile, and if I am still having an issue, could I run this test and be sending them the results?

Where is thy cost savings, oh gods of outsourcing?

Can you tell I might be just a little distresssed?!

There are a million stories in Cube City...this is only the beginning of one of them.