December 28th, 2007


9 Months

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered he door if they could spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house"

"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?"

"Yes, I do." said Bob

"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"

"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out "I have to admit that I did."

"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did." Why do you ask?"

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Gods and Godesses Save Me

From precocious, yet clueless, bored, lonely, under-utilized, under supervised, ill mannered, nerd wannabe sixteen year olds!

Went to Panera Breads tonight for dinner. Gots me the you-pick-two: Broccoli and cheddar soup and half a ham and swiss. Yummy stuff!

Also had the January issue of Model Railroader with me. All I wanted to do was eat my meal, drink my sweet tea, and read my mag. I wasn't channeling, "I'm lonely or bored...Talk to me."

I don’t know how it is in most other countries, but here serving folk have a BAD habit of interrupting you to ask “how everything is” as soon as you put food in your mouth. Tonight was no exception. I had just taken a bite of my sammich. The boy (see above) was exceptionally polite, even apologized for doing that, which he claimed pissed him off too, and then proceeded to hold me up making *polite* small talk for about ten minutes!

Told me he thought his life was half over. He had nothing else to look forward to...”Oh Pul-leeeease,” I said. “I’ll be 50 in about two months and I don’t feel MY life is half over. You haven’t even worked up a good head of steam yet, son!” Honestly, I tried to shoo this kid off politely. But he would have none of it. Continued to chatter on about anything and nothing.

I was about to ask him rather forcefully if he didn’t have something else to do, when the light must have gone on. Ding! (I have a rather expressive face)

“Well enjoy the rest of your evening, sir!” he said and moved on to terrorize a table full of school girls somewhere behind me.

I didn’t even get through one article in my mag!
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