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January 22nd, 2008

He Went to Paris

He went to paris, lookin for answers
To questions that bothered him so
He was impressive, young and aggressive
Savin the world on his own

But the warm summer breezes
The french wines and cheeses
Put his ambition at bay
The summers and winters
Scattered like splinters
And four or five years slipped away

Then he went to england, played the piano
And married an actress named Kim
They had a fine life, she was a good wife
And bore him a young son named Jim

And all of the answers and all of the questions
Locked in his attic one day
Cause he liked the quiet clean country livin'
And twenty more years slipped away

Well the war took his baby, the bombs killed his lady
And left him with only one eye
His body was battered, his whole world was shattered
And all he could do was just cry

While the tears were a-fallin he was recallin'
Answers he never found
So he hopped on a freighter, skidded the ocean
And left england without a sound

Now he lives in the islands, fishes the pilin's
And drinks his green label each day
Writing his memoirs, losin' his hearin'
But he don't care what most people say

Through eighty-six years of perpetual motion
If he likes you he'll smile and he'll say
Jimmy, some of its magic, some of its tragic
But I had a good life all the way

And he went to paris lookin for answers
To questions that bothered him so

by Jimmy Buffett, 1973

 

One of my favorites

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy.  He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education than any cop from Luling, Texas.  He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Louisiana deputy's expense.

The deputy says," License and registration, please."

"What for?" says the lawyer.

The deputy says , "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

Then the lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

"You still didn't come to a complete stop, says the deputy. License and registration, please."
 
The lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

"The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law.  License and registration, please!" the Deputy says.

Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

"That sounds fair.  Please exit your vehicle, sir," the deputy says.

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving shit out of the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?"

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