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January 15th, 2009

I Told You...

Not to fuck with me!

Walking across the street with a co-worker on the way to the bus stop. Some homeless fucker planted himself in front of us, while we were still in the street! Light was changing and he was mumbling something neither of us could understand a word of. Believe he wanted a cigarette. Not really sure though.

After trying to jockey around his dumbass while he continued to block our (my) path, I finally got fed up. "Can you see we are having a conversation here, goddamit! Now get the fu--!" My companion said in her soft voice while pulling me around this idiot, "C'mon we'll miss our bus!"

Confrontation aborted! But she got to see a side if me I don't usually share with others. Sang!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Passenger: 'Who?'
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time.
Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star; and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."

Cabbie: "There's more... He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died. I'm married to his fuckin' widow."

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