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January 22nd, 2013

All Hail to the Drinkin' Man!

By Jupiter’s great and Bony Ass!! Sir, Robbert. I say. It is nice to see you again. Join me in a glass, then? This?! Oh no. We’ll have to forage for summat a bit better.

Oh.My. Gracious. Dewar’s Silver Label. You know Dewar’s. They’ve got that Bonny Scot Lass in the adverts asking deep questions.

“Are you ready… To take life seriously?” she asks, looking provocatively at you over the top of her glass of scotch. That implies some serious shit. Oh… and, who the fuck is Angus?

Oh Aye...Man, I like the way she r-r-r-olls her R’s. It makes me hot. But there’s a little back story to that. And I digress.

Well. It’s advertising. That is what it’s supposed to do. It is designed for that purpose, Sir Robbert..! Make you buy that rot. And it should. Unless…

Ah yes. Well. Don’t be tedious. A friend of mine, former co-worker actually, gave me a fifth of this scotch a couple years ago. I cracked it tonight.

What?! She’s not. No really. She’s not. It doesn’t. And who the fuck cares about that Angus fellow, anyway? It still does. Well it does. And yeah. There is one. But all of that doesn’t really matter. No seriously. It doesn’t matter. Why? It is really quite simple, my friend. No. No. No, of course, not.

White Label is just. Well. It is just swill. Yes. Yes. Not fit to clean your pipes, what? No No! Your PLUMBing, man!


Pardon? You want to know what? Oh. Aye. The back story. Ah. Well. An’ sure! There's a bonny lass behind that one, sirrah. Now, here is my flask, about those glasses…

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