9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With A Few.
8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.
7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'.
6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win.
5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here.
4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him.
3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger.
2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer.
And the Number One Country & Western song is...
- 1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day Long!