T’were a long walk to the beach to be sure, an' cauld most of the time too. This place was just south of the Orkney Islands away in Caithness County.
The house had peat burning fireplaces in almost every room. You could dig yer peat right out o’ the back garden. Or the front for that matter.
I was sitting in my room one day and a great huge black cloud of chimney soot blew out into the room followed by the biggest bleedin’ crow or maybe even a raven, I had ever seen. Before OR since.
An’ I didna hang aboot to figure the difference either. It was makin’ quite the commotion, I tell yer! Scared the pluperfect shite outta me.
I wailed and bolted from the bed and closed the door (Smart kid,eh?) and ran down the steps to tell me Ma about it.
She wouldnae go near the door a’tall. Waited for me Da t’get home and sent him up there with a broom.
I'da used a bloomin' BAZOOKA! BOOM!
After a time, he came down stairs looking shaken and a little worse for wear, but with a triumphant grin spread across the bottom half of his face. He'd managed tae keep the giant bird off him (with the BROOM, I presume!) and got a window facing the bay open and that harbinger of evil swooped the hell oot of there.
And Da closed the flue in that room, and all the other rooms too. QUIIIIIIIICKMAAAAAAAARCH!
I didnae sleep in th' fookin' r-r-oom for a flamin' fortnight!